Sweet Jesus I hate Cellphones
WARNING! WARNING! THERE IS A NEW TEXT MESSAGE FOR... Barry. I REPEAT, THERE IS A NEW TEXT MESSAGE FOR... Barry.
I swear, cellphones will be what pushes me over the edge. I don't care that you like the Black Eye Peas, and neither does anyone else in the bloody cafe. I don't want to see your slighty-askew photos taken as you pout your lips and drape your fringe over one eye. I get enough of that on Myspace thank you. Look, nobody wants to see your blurry, framing video of your Converse sneakers, or that time you tried to pirate Garfield 2. Just get a few beeps, that's enough to let people know they are wanted. Video calling? Watch the Jetsons if you're that desperate for pseudo-human contact. I think cellphones have become just a tool which people show off. Look, I have four billion megapixels, I have Bluetooth, I can take videos and upload them to my blog while sending them to my iPod and podcasting it across the net while downloading my friends latest videos while receiving a call and texting my latest blog entry in while OH, my MP3 of My Humps is finished downloading, time to listen to that AT FULL VOLUME I mean, these other people on the bus want to hear it too, right?
Oh, and I can play Snakes.
But I found this a few days ago: Screaming Cellphones. They have developed a cellphone ringtone that screams when the phone is stolen. While this may seem like a good idea, I feel that there will be several teenagers who find the fact that their cellphone rings like such very amusing. I think technology that helps people catch criminals is awesome, but teenagers are pretty dumb. They need a phone that EXPLODES when stolen.
Or this case: .Cellphone Snaps. An 18 year old snapped pictures of her mother in a domestic abuse case to show the police when they showed up. Soon, we will all have the capability to film one another, and we'll never leave the house for fear of being snapped, Bluetoothed to a nearby computer and Photoshopped into very compromising positions. I don't even know how you could tell if you did snap someone with a camera, all the cellphone camera images I have seen remind me of my old Commodore 64. It's either a man robbing a bank or Pac-Man, I can't tell.
CNET got people to rate what cellphones they liked the best. Now, I know very little about cellphones, but here is the link: .Rating the phones.
I loathe cellphones. If every cellphone in the world all of a sudden vanished, not only would I not be worried, I would laugh. Heartily. Stephen King has a novel where cellphones turn people into mindless zombies.
And that makes me smile.
I swear, cellphones will be what pushes me over the edge. I don't care that you like the Black Eye Peas, and neither does anyone else in the bloody cafe. I don't want to see your slighty-askew photos taken as you pout your lips and drape your fringe over one eye. I get enough of that on Myspace thank you. Look, nobody wants to see your blurry, framing video of your Converse sneakers, or that time you tried to pirate Garfield 2. Just get a few beeps, that's enough to let people know they are wanted. Video calling? Watch the Jetsons if you're that desperate for pseudo-human contact. I think cellphones have become just a tool which people show off. Look, I have four billion megapixels, I have Bluetooth, I can take videos and upload them to my blog while sending them to my iPod and podcasting it across the net while downloading my friends latest videos while receiving a call and texting my latest blog entry in while OH, my MP3 of My Humps is finished downloading, time to listen to that AT FULL VOLUME I mean, these other people on the bus want to hear it too, right?
Oh, and I can play Snakes.
But I found this a few days ago: Screaming Cellphones. They have developed a cellphone ringtone that screams when the phone is stolen. While this may seem like a good idea, I feel that there will be several teenagers who find the fact that their cellphone rings like such very amusing. I think technology that helps people catch criminals is awesome, but teenagers are pretty dumb. They need a phone that EXPLODES when stolen.
Or this case: .Cellphone Snaps. An 18 year old snapped pictures of her mother in a domestic abuse case to show the police when they showed up. Soon, we will all have the capability to film one another, and we'll never leave the house for fear of being snapped, Bluetoothed to a nearby computer and Photoshopped into very compromising positions. I don't even know how you could tell if you did snap someone with a camera, all the cellphone camera images I have seen remind me of my old Commodore 64. It's either a man robbing a bank or Pac-Man, I can't tell.
CNET got people to rate what cellphones they liked the best. Now, I know very little about cellphones, but here is the link: .Rating the phones.
I loathe cellphones. If every cellphone in the world all of a sudden vanished, not only would I not be worried, I would laugh. Heartily. Stephen King has a novel where cellphones turn people into mindless zombies.
And that makes me smile.
posted by J. Monkey at 4:16 pm
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